Blessings Counted

The above photo is the scene that inspired this post. A bit odd, no?

Tonight as I was rocking my soon-to-be one year old and feeding him his last bottle before bed I was struck by how fortunate I am. For as long as I can remember, okay I can't remember jack smack, but anyway I do recollect as a child and teenager the only real desire for my adulthood was to have a child. I was sitting in the dimness of my son's room looking at the scattering of toys on the floor & holding my baby and I was overcome by a sense of peace. That is pretty close to a miracle for me. I am pretty much never at peace or completely satisfied with myself or my life. That is an unfortunate flaw of my character that I have always been aware of. So now I'm thinking of a line in a Don Henley song that goes something like, "learn to be still". I'm trying, Don, I really am. So I occasionally come to my senses and do a gratitude check and thank God for the many blessings in my life and ask for help in overcoming my bad attitude. Tonight I am grateful that I have two beautiful healthy little boys. I am grateful that I have a wonderful husband who somehow seems to truly love me (see how even now I have to throw that last part in there?). I'm grateful that I have a mother who is my best friend now that I'm all grown and stuff, various other relatives that are if nothing else good for a few laughs, good friends, a nice house, food to eat, more than enough clothes for my ever-expanding back, two cats, a vehicle that runs, and more "stuff" than anyone really needs. I try to inject a little humor but I seriously am content and very grateful to have that feeling if only briefly in the evening before bed. Tonight I'll pray that my friends and family can also experience that feeling because no matter what any of us have in this life, it means nothing if you can't enjoy the life that you've been given.