I'm Rare times 3

Just a note: I have copied & pasted the following from my Myspace blog. I don't typically blog there but I have only told about 4 people about my blogsite here so I had to blog there to get this information to as many people as possible so I can stop telling the story over and over. Okay here goes:

My doctor said he always knew I was unique but that now I was just taking it too far. Some of you know a little and some of you know none so I'll start at the start.

I've had a big "thing" sticking out of the side of my neck that only I ever really noticed for years, I can't recall how many. I'd asked a couple of my doctors if I should do something about it but they said no some people just have big lymph nodes. So about a month or so ago I was at my ENT (ear, nose, & throat) doc about my sinuses. He's been my doctor for 13 years and has done 2 sinus surgeries on me. We have a great rapport and I trust him, kind of a big deal for me. I casually asked him how bad it would hurt to remove this pesky lymph node. He wanted to know why and then he felt it. Then he wanted to stick a big needle in it right then and there and see what was up. I'm not afraid of hardly anything medical so I say go ahead. As soon as he stuck the needle in I knew something was wrong. He said it's not a lymph node. Black fluid was in the syringe and I said what the hell? He said it was probably old blood and that he thought what I had was a second brachial cleft cyst. It's sort of a birth defect thing, no big deal, but it has to come out.

Fast forward to my surgery one week ago today. I wake up and find out it isn't that. He doesn't know what it is. He and the pathologist think it looks weird. The pathologist suspects that it's papillary thyroid cancer and my doctor still thinks it's some sort of benign cyst. So I get the call this morning that the results are in. It's cancer. It is papillary thyroid cancer but not like normal. This is where I'm rare times 3. It's rare to have a congenital cyst (meaning I was born with it), it's even more rare that it would be in this particular location and even rarer still that it would become malignant. Hence rare times 3. He did take a few large lymph nodes that were near this thing and they tested negative for any malignancy so that's good. However, within 2-4 weeks I need to go back into surgery to have my entire thyroid removed and all of my lymph nodes from my central & right neck & a few from the left side. First I have to have a PET scan to see if they can detect that it may have spread anywhere else like my lungs. This is where I'll take all the prayers I can get. So from what I understand so far if you were forced to have cancer but you got to pick what kind to have you should probably pick papillary thyroid cancer because it's pretty easy to get rid of. The fact that its source is in a cyst makes it rare and complicated and weird but I think it's still going to be okay. I trust my doctor a lot and think he's pretty smart but my mom and husband want me to get a second opinion and my doctor has said that he would understand and support that. He is going to get me in to see an endocrinologist ASAP and will set me up for a second opinion at KU with their thyroid oncology board. He wants to see if his idea of how to handle this concurs with theirs as well. He also gave me the name of a world-renowned thyroid specialist in Kentucky who I will be e-mailing to see his suggestions. I read something online that said there have only been 266 cases written up worldwide where people have had this condition. So I guess I'm nothing if not unique. :) It is a little bizarre to me and I'm not sure how I feel. Maybe it isn't real to me or maybe I'm just that stone cold (hardy har har). I just keep researching and finding out as much as I can. So if I don't respond to you via e-mail or myspace or phone or whatever just know it has nothing to do with you, I'm just a busy little bee right now but I need your prayers.

Fabulous Mother's Day

I had the best Mother's Day. I stayed in bed until noon! No kids bugged me, it was fabulous. When I got up my baby was so happy to see me and we just snuggled on the couch and shared a frozen yogurt. Then it was already time for his nap so he slept and I showered. I then spent most of the day with a couple of girlfriends getting pedicures and having a couple of drinks. I went to my in-laws for dinner and I didn't cook anything or wash anything all day. I told my husband that I needed a Mother's Day once a month from now on. He agreed (probably because I was so happy and cheerful all day). This post may be boring but my day wasn't. I hope all the moms out there had a great day as well. I'll try to be funny and witty and wise next time. :)

Oh, My Aching Back

Can you tell what these are? Toads!!! Loads and loads of toads! That was fun to say. My in-laws have an in ground pool that they didn't cover this winter. So they had about 20 frogs in the dark green/black water. No telling how many were on the bottom drowned. They are mating right now and one of these frogs is quite randy. He was attempting to mate with a large, I assume female, toad that was dying. We pulled them up and he stayed on top of her for the entire 6 hours that they were in our possession. Why were 7 toads in our possession you might ask? Well because Owen loves all animals and fancies himself a zookeeper. He wanted to take some home to look at and to show his dad. So we kept them in this bucket for 6 hours until David could come home and see them, then we took them for a walk to a nearby creek and dropped them off in their new home. I doubt they'll like it much, though, seeing as how toads tend to like more stagnant water as found in ponds. Here's a close up in case you happen to be a toad aficionado.

On this same day I had the pleasure of cleaning up the mess that my husband made whilst massacring my juniper bushes. Is massacring a word? It must be the spell check didn't object. Anyway, I think my husband has lost his mind. Sure they needed a trim but did they deserve this?

This is why my back is in agony. This is 11 lawn bags full of clippings, which are suprisingly heavy.
See that little pile of bush bloodshed on the sidewalk? That's how much is still left because I ran out of bags. The entire sidewalk for the whole length of the bushes had a continuous pile of debris that tall until I tackled it. That my friends is a lot of bending for one gal. I think the continuous bending over was harder than lugging the full sacks down the sidewalk. But at least I felt productive and empowered afterwards. Also justified not going to the gym. :)

My Baby is 1!!!!

I'm having a hard time believing that my baby is one today. I don't plan on having anymore children so I'm kind of sad. He recently weaned from nursing too so that's also sad for me. We had a great little party for him today with just family and two of our close friends. It was a cowboy theme (mostly so I could have an excuse to buy this super cute scrapbook I saw that was cowboy themed). He was so cute! We had a beautiful day today and he loves to be outside. His big brother took him on a ride in his Jeep Powerwheel. We had ice cream cake, which he never wanted to stop eating. Forgive me, but I must show many pictures of our day.

There's just something about children before they learn to talk and when they still need you so much. That's what I'm going to miss about not having babies. The looks of adoration and the sweet innocence. I look forward to the freedom I'll get from having older kids but there's just something about babies. I wish I could just bottle 'em up and keep them small and sweet forever.

Portrait Giveaway

I'm posting this blog so I can win something cool. My old roommate, The Gremlin Wrangler does portraits. She is an ar-teest. A darn good one if you ask me and my son who wants to read a book we co-wrote every night. The deal is I have to write a post about it and link it up to her blog to enter. I don't know what to say except how cool would it be if I could win a portrait done by the famous Gremlin Wrangler? I still have a watercolor fish she made me 13 years ago when we were roomies. If you're reading this then you should go over to her blog and check out this contest. Hurry! It ends Wednesday, I think.

Blessings Counted

The above photo is the scene that inspired this post. A bit odd, no?

Tonight as I was rocking my soon-to-be one year old and feeding him his last bottle before bed I was struck by how fortunate I am. For as long as I can remember, okay I can't remember jack smack, but anyway I do recollect as a child and teenager the only real desire for my adulthood was to have a child. I was sitting in the dimness of my son's room looking at the scattering of toys on the floor & holding my baby and I was overcome by a sense of peace. That is pretty close to a miracle for me. I am pretty much never at peace or completely satisfied with myself or my life. That is an unfortunate flaw of my character that I have always been aware of. So now I'm thinking of a line in a Don Henley song that goes something like, "learn to be still". I'm trying, Don, I really am. So I occasionally come to my senses and do a gratitude check and thank God for the many blessings in my life and ask for help in overcoming my bad attitude. Tonight I am grateful that I have two beautiful healthy little boys. I am grateful that I have a wonderful husband who somehow seems to truly love me (see how even now I have to throw that last part in there?). I'm grateful that I have a mother who is my best friend now that I'm all grown and stuff, various other relatives that are if nothing else good for a few laughs, good friends, a nice house, food to eat, more than enough clothes for my ever-expanding back, two cats, a vehicle that runs, and more "stuff" than anyone really needs. I try to inject a little humor but I seriously am content and very grateful to have that feeling if only briefly in the evening before bed. Tonight I'll pray that my friends and family can also experience that feeling because no matter what any of us have in this life, it means nothing if you can't enjoy the life that you've been given.