Owen & his Boyz

My little boy is growing up. I know, duh! They all do-constantly. But it really hit me today. He had a birthday party to go to tonight for his friend Clinton. Owen has four friends at school that he just loves and talks about all the time. Clinton, Caden, Jay, and Malcolm. Malcolm is the only one who wasn't there because apparently Clinton doesn't much care for him. Ah, the drama of today's preschoolers. He didn't need me at all tonight (except to find the potty). He was just Mr. Popular. All of the other mothers were telling me how much their kids just love Owen. That makes me feel good because that means so far he isn't the brat that everyone avoids. Those boys just played and played like crazy and none of them fought or cried or anything. None of them wanted to leave either, we finally had to drag the three of them away at 8:30.
Owen makes up these crazy stories for me about his friends. He told me one day that he had his own house and when I asked him who lived there he said, "me and my boys". He then proceeded to tell me how he and Caden work in a big building and Caden drives him there in his Jeep (Owen is still too afraid to drive his own Jeep Powerwheel). He has also started telling David and I that "Jay will get mad" or "Jay will get upset" if he cleans up his messes when we ask him to.
So I'm really happy for Owen and proud of him for having friends. I know it sounds basic but it's a big deal to me. I've never been that great at having friends like that. I've had lots of friends, sure, but as a child I don't remember ever having a "posse" like Owen does. I was shy and didn't get close to people easily. I want Owen to live to enjoy life and be carefree because I never have and I think it would feel good. I want Owen to have the storybook childhood that I didn't and just enjoy being a kid before the crappiness of real life sets in.

May I Take Your Order?

I've been blessed to be able to stay home with my kids for the last four years. I'm hoping that I'll be able to continue but it doesn't look promising. This crappy economy is starting to take its toll on us. My husband, a housepainter, is having a hard time keeping money in the business account and I only just now got to put our paycheck (we're incorporated so we get salaries) from two weeks ago into our personal account. I have no idea when I'll be able to put this last paycheck from Friday in. We have assets such as two extra business vehicles and a house that my dad lives in as well as a house that my husband uses as his office & supplies storage but I don't know that we'd be able to sell anything at all let alone for a decent amount of money. Plus I have the problem of what to do with my father. He's a whole other blog.
So the thing I'm pondering is going back to work as a waitress or bartender a few nights a week. That would suck really bad but not as bad as putting my kids in daycare and hitting the forty hour work week. It's not quite that bleak yet. I am already tired all the time and behind on doing the books for my husband as it is. Sometimes I do miss restaurant life but not enough to actually want to go back. I guess for now it just means cutting back as much as possible. I'm all about the Equate and Hy-Vee brands now baby!

Housework Blows

I'm sure I'm not telling anyone anything new here. Housework is one of the most unfulfilling things I've ever been subjected to. There's no real sense of accomplishment or even a feeling of having completed something. It is ongoing. Sure it looks great today but by tomorrow I get to do it all again or it looks like I'm some sort of a scumbag. I hate how it takes time away from other things that actually make me feel fulfilled, such as scrapbooking my kids' early years before they slip away. My husband doesn't get this. He is so critical. I vacuumed the upstairs today after having left the vacuum laying all over the hallway for the last two days. I had vacuumed downstairs two days ago with the big vacuum but just yesterday with the robot vacuum that I got for Christmas. So when I was finished upstairs I put the big vacuum away downstairs and my husband asks why I wasn't going to vacuum downstairs (it was 9:30 at night! time to put kids to bed) and I said I already did yesterday. So he keeps on about how there's specks all over in the downstairs hall. So I tell him if he's so worried about them to feel free to take care of it himself (which he does). But he wonders why I got all pissy about it. Sometimes I think testosterone eats brain cells. Sorry the post is so boring but I got nothing here and I'm trying to make myself do this everyday. We shall see....

No Cancer For Me

So I have this deformity in my neck. I've thought for quite awhile now that I had a ginormous lymph node and I had complained to my primary doctor. He would only say that some people just have big nodes. Then a few weeks ago I went to my ENT about my sinuses and happened to ask how painful it was to have a lymph node removed. He has been my doctor for about 13 years and performed 2 sinus surgeries on me in the past. He looked at me quizzically and felt my neck. He asked why he'd never felt that before. I said, "I don't know, you're the doctor." I should mention that I am slightly obsessed with my lymph nodes and have CBC's performed every six months or so since my grandma died from Lymphomic Leukemia and my mom now has it as well.
So he casually mentioned that he would like to stick a big needle into it and draw out some fluid for testing. I'm a pretty good sport as far as medical stuff goes so I say "hey why not?" As soon as he stuck the needle in he made a strange sound and said that it was not a lymph node at all. He showed me the syringe that was now filled with black fluid. "what the hell is that?" I asked. He said it was probably old blood. He then tells me that it is probably what is known as a congenital brachial cleft cyst. This is something that is considered a birth defect. He says I need to have a CT scan so he can map it out because these things can be wrapped all around nerves and arteries and whatnot and he wants to know what he's going to find when he cuts open my neck. Sounds fair to me.
When I go back to get the results he says that now he saw some lesions and a nodule on my thyroid that he has to check out before he can cut out my cyst. In his casual way he mentions that I could have thyroid cancer and he doesn't want to take the cyst out only to find out later that the thyroid should come out. I have been made to understand that if one should ever be forced to choose a type of cancer to have then thyroid cancer would be the best choice. Fabulous. Well, to speed this story up a bit I had an ultrasound and they stuck yet another 3 needles into my thyroid this time to get some fluid and did some blood work to check my thyroid function. All came back fine and I am now free to have my birth defect removed. I will be in the hospital overnight but I'm thinking it'll be a nice break from the kids. Call me crazy but perhaps I could get a little quiet time.
My doctor says these cysts aren't a very common occurence, that he's performed maybe a dozen of these operations which are called neck dissections. I wish they'd come up with a better name. He warned me that there are a lot of nerves and arteries in the neck area and it is fairly risky, I could lose function of my voicebox (wouldn't that please my husband?), tongue, my shoulder, and feeling in my skin around that area. He assures me that he has done many operations on necks and feels confident that he can get this thing out without any complications. Let's all pray he's right and that he doesn't drink too much caffeine that morning and get the jitters.